When straight guys eat a banana
Mark Bulwinkle, House
this is me in every aspect with actually too many people and i hate it
im so hard on myself when i eat.
since 6th grade ive dealt with the psychological torture that tags itself along when i feed myself.
i feel my thighs expanding, my skin get oily, and my butt feel bigger to the point where i feel like i have a hard time getting out of chairs.
and i know this is all in my head, but no matter how much i try to calm my self down by stating that fact…nothing works. and the only way i can clear my conscience is to get rid of it. of course, i would never stick my finger down my throat despite the many times ive contemplated it. but i will hit the gym, and i will go hard, and i will get obsessive about it.
the last time this happened, i ended up burning more than i ate each day to the point where my immune system weakened leading to me quickly catching pneumonia.
that was 2 years ago, and i have learned and become smarter than that. i believe in myself when i say i wont relapse but that guilt feeling i get after i eat still remains with me, and it’s killing me.
The To Do List, 2013
the spring flower festival was rly pretty